Soldiering On…

I think I love these two episodes so much because of all the foreshadowing and how I’m assuming these will be the last bit of laughs for a very long time. I hope I’m wrong, but, well… we’ll see.

A Town Called Mercy

I have to believe they did this whole Old West episode because they knew how very much I enjoy Squishy in a cowboy hat.  Also, this scene, for some reason, gave me a very "To Kill A Mockingbird" feel. Ya know? That scene were Atticus is watching over Tom at the jail when the gang comes to kill him? Right?

I have to believe they did this whole Old West episode because they knew how very much I enjoy Squishy in a cowboy hat.
Also, this scene, for some reason, gave me a very “To Kill A Mockingbird” feel. Ya know? That scene were Atticus is watching over Tom at the jail when the gang comes to kill him? Right? Yep, I just compared Doctor Squishy-Face to Atticus Finch and I have absolutely no problem with that. 

Okay, so this episode had a lot of great lines, a lot of “Anachronistic electricity. Keep Out signs. Aggressive stares. Has someone been peeking at my Christmas list?” and horses named Susan that want you to respect his life choices, but it also had a fair bit of angst. And the painful kind of angst where The Doctor looks in a mirror and hates himself and takes it out on his reflection–this time, ironically, another alien doctor.

Even before I’d met the War Doctor and had any precise knowledge of the depth and scope of the Doctor’s anguish and guilt, I knew that he held himself responsible for great suffering and that manifested itself in many different ways, but none so heart-wrenching–for me at least, I live for this shit–is the way in which he hates himself and wishes to punish himself. It’s my favorite kind of hurt. This season so far has been rich with it. Amy explains the reason why to me in this episode:

Squishy:  But they keep coming back, don’t you see? Every time I negotiate, I try to understand. Well not today. No, today I honor the victims first. His, The Master’s, the Daleks’. All the people that died because of my mercy!
Amy:  See this is what happens when you travel alone for too long. Well listen to me, Doctor, we can’t be like him. We have to be better than him.

The man really shouldn’t be left alone.

Which leads me to…

The Power of Three

Bored. So very bored. Poor Squishy.

Bored. So very bored. Poor Squishy.

First they get me with Rory and Amy having lives, and I love that, I really do, and of course Mr Weasley making an appearance always makes me happy. Then there is Squishy trying so hard to be human and settle down and do time like everyone else, slowly and in the right order. Which was just as adorable in this episode as it was in The Lodger. So, I’m loving it and I’m even loving that the Ponds are contemplating leaving the Doctor Life because then they hear the TARDIS outside and all that silliness if forgotten. Still, I know it’s only a matter of time. Especially when I get here:

Doctor Squishy: I’m not running away. But this is one corner of one country on one continent on one planet that’s a corner of a galaxy that’s a corner of a universe that is forever growing and shrinking and creating and growing and never remaining the same for a single millisecond, and there is so much—so much to see, Amy. Because it goes so fast. I’m not running away from things, I am running to them. Before they flare and fade forever.

Amy: Then why do you keep coming back for us?

Doctor Squishy: Because you were the first. The first face this face saw. And you were seared onto my hearts, Amelia Pond. You always will be. I’m running to you, and Rory, before you fade from me.

BRB. SOBBING FOREVER.

I seriously finished watching this episode and wanted to turn off the television and never turn it back on. Live forever in this moment where the Ponds haven’t made a choice and the Doctor visits from time to time and they go and have adventures and then come back and have lives. And I want to wonder if it could work like that, if Amy could forget that the Doctor often loses track of time and leaves her for years when he’s only meant to be gone for 5 minutes, and if the Doctor could actually return them back where he took them so that they could have two lives without missing work and their friends’ weddings and stuff.

Or, if they HAVE to leave, if they have to stop traveling, if he HAS to get a new companion–and why oh why can’t it be River?!?! Then I just want to imagine them in that house the Doctor got for them where Squishy stops by from time to time and tries really hard to settle down for days at a time…

If I never watch another episode ever, then it can work that way in my mind.

If only…

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